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2003-07-09 Today I learned that the Olsen twins were DRIVEN, which surprised me, since I always assumed that their parents forced them to participate in a rabidly crappy sitcom for eight years and then, when it was cancelled (in spite of an Oscar-worthy little episode I like to call "Michelle Is Thrown From Her Horse And Wakes With Amnesia; Whole Family Re-examines Its Priorities While Music Uncle Jesse Probably Did Not Write Swells In Background" or "Bonnie Blue Butler Died, Why Not You? It Isn't Fair"), forced them to make movies in which they A) play sassy twins, or B) play sassy twins who contrive to get Steve Gutenberg a date, often with the help of an endangered animal, thereby making things a little too sexy all round. This television experience also afforded me the opportunity to hear one of their fatherly male co-stars gush, "Hanging out with Mary-Kate and Ashley is amazing...it's like having Jesus on one side of you and Elvis on the other."
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