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2003-10-16 I always assumed that the most hilarious place to visit in the world would be India, what with all the garlanded cows roaming the streets and the rivers in which people simultaneously urinate and bathe, but APPARENTLY the most hilarious place to visit in the world is Ghana. As my regular readers know, my friend Sexy Motherfucking Bitch-Ho (name has been changed to protect her privacy) is spending a semester abroad in Ghana, and I just cannot get enough of her third-world hijinks. She told us that she and her friends had eaten at an Italian restaurant--in GHANA--that billed itself as "The Best in Town, Possibly the World". She informed us that she had patronized a soda bar that called itself "Friends Today, Enemies Tomorrow". However, this latest anecdote surpasses all others. She says that she and a few friends took a field trip to the Ghana Telecom Quarters and were introduced to a man who held the dubious title of "General Manager of Payphones in Ghana". He sat them down and offered them a wide variety of alcoholic beverages, and since none of us took anything that was offered, he then sent one of his henchmen in search of sodas. When the henchman returned with the sodas, the General Manager of Payphones in Ghana told them to please "Fantalize and/or Coca-lize yourselves." I think that is probably the funniest statement ever made in Ghana, Possibly the World. Sexy Motherfucking Bitch-Ho urges us to incorporate this phrase into our everyday speech, as I once urged you to adopt "sweating like Christopher Hitchens" into the common vernacular. She is counting on us to spread the word throughout the Western world.
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