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2003-11-14 Professor: I think I may have to rewrite my entire thesis. Treasure Cocaine: Oh, good. You should write a thesis on Lactation in the Male. Professor: I don't know anything about Lactation in the Male. Treasure Cocaine: You're being modest. Here's a book that might be helpful: "Fresh Milk: The Secret Life of Breasts", by Fiona Giles. This is what Sheila Kitzinger has to say about it, "An exciting, funny and provocative book that covers new ground. Do you fancy a breastmilk cocktail? Are you a breastfeeding father? Does milk spurt out when you make love? All the things that the other books about breastfeeding don't say!" Professor (in disbelief): Do you fancy a breastmilk cocktail? Treasure Cocaine: Are you asking me? Because I think the answer is obvious. Anyway, why are you going to have to rewrite your thesis? Professor: Well, it turns out that the school of logic that I was trying to prove wasn't illogical is actually completely illogical. Treasure Cocaine: That throws a wrench in things. (The Professor inhales deeply, with great satisfaction.) Treasure Cocaine: Are you smoking? Professor (defiantly): Yes, and I'm going to keep smoking until I figure out what to do. Treasure Cocaine: Oh, I don't care that you're smoking. I'm just impressed with my own deductive skills. A normal person would have thought you were just breathing heavily, whereas I immediately discerned that you were smoking. I'm Sherlock Holmes. Professor (sullenly): You ARE Sherlock Holmes; that's why I put a pipe in you.
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