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2004-08-06 The Professor and I have spent the last two weeks carting our belongings six miles across the country to a new apartment in Hebron, Kentucky. And what's so special about Hebron, you ask? Oh, nothing much--it's only the future home of the Answers in Genesis Creation(ism) Museum. The Answers in Genesis Creation(ism) Museum aims to be a "‘walk through history’ museum (that) will be a wonderful alternative to the evolutionary natural history museums that are turning countless minds against the gospel of Christ and the authority of the Scripture." Well, it is about good goddamn time. Finally, a museum that has the courage to stand up to little children and tell them that dinosaurs were Not That Awesome.Because seriously? if dinosaurs and humans were created on the same day and humans won out, not that awesome. Excerpt from the website: "We pray that one day thousands will walk out of the museum and not just say ‘wow, that’s a great museum,’ but ‘wow, the Bible really can be trusted, and now I’m better equipped to defend it.’" We need this museum, and we need it now. What can I do to help, you ask? Well, you could make a large donation, or, if that doesn't appeal to you, you could buy one of their handmade quilts. (I recommend the one called "All Balls.") The sooner this museum is finished, the sooner I can spend whole days there learning whether or not God created the poodle, why evolutionary theory is responsible for racism, and how evolution is directly linked to baby-stealing. (People? I didn't make that shit up. I didn't have to.) I mean, long story short: when I ventured near that website I was not a creationist, and when I wandered away, after many hours, I was a creationist. What convinced me, you ask? A compelling article about the male nipple? A brisk debate about vermicomposting on the Ark? Oh, no. Four simple sentences turned me into a believer. Listen and convert: 1. Sometimes there is more than one interpretation of data. 2. Evidence suggests mutations to be random and detrimental. And because 3. Evolution must have favourable, 'uphill' mutations, and many of them, therefore 4. Evolution, like werewolves, is a myth. I read that and I was just like, fucking touché. Their extremely comprehensive and extremely insane website can be found here: Answers In Genesis. Give. I don't care if your fucking rent is due. God will provide. Give till it hurts.
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