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2006-02-22 Hardships I Have Encountered on the Hot Penisula 1) Elderly Floridians apparently cannot bear the thought of having sex indoors. They're also unholy tan...it's like watching giant sexy tumors burrowing in the sand. I confess it is my fondest hope that one day a sly landshark, or perhaps a sea dino, will wander ashore and insinuate either its teeth or its otherworldly wang into the action 2) Ant problem. I say the ants are coming from inside the walls; the Professor believes that they are living inside my computer, along with the Holy Spirit, who makes the pictures happen 3) Huge flaming raptor in the sky causing me to become all roasty. By way of explanation, the Professor has cited a Korean creation myth which explains the origin of mankind thusly: God decided to make some man-cookies. The first cookie wasn't baked long enough and was wan and doughy. The second cookie was baked too long and got ruined.The last cookie was baked just the right length of time, and emerged from the oven looking all...golden...and delicious. A Google search for "black man cooked too long" returned nothing, surprisingly. In fact, the only Korean creation myth I could find involves Jesus fucking a bear, more or less 4) Ocean...too big, also salty, what the fuck
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