2006-08-31

I forgot to tell you this dream I had where Mel Gibson was standing in a doorway wearing a negligée, and he shifted all his weight onto one hairy foot and smiled at me, and suddenly I didn’t need my glasses anymore, because Mel Gibson’s smile had cured my nearsightedness. I am being extremely serious. As I was dreaming, the line “Mel Gibson smiled at me and suddenly I didn’t need glasses anymore” struck me as a fantastically good one, and I spent the entire rest of the night trying to remember it, so that I could incorporate it either into a poem or a comic strip—perhaps one featuring the Babyfaced Dino and his friend Breast Cob, who is a corncob covered in breasts. Breast Cob appeared to me in a dream as well, to tell me to stop hating my dad so much. He said, “I am only a cob covered in breasts, but I know a little something about forgiveness.” Several rows of his breasts had been munched away, so I imagined this was probably true.



Anyway, I figured that in the context of a comic, this line could be used one of two ways—it could be spoken by Breast Cob himself, which would be amusing because he is covered in sightless breasts, or it could be spoken by Babyfaced Dino, which would be amusing because a babyfaced dino wearing glasses would look like this:



As you can see, my art will make you laugh and make you think—why, for instance, can those breasts not butter themselves? Do they need someone to churn them?

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