older latest email guestbook 2006-10-08 - The Royal Family Was Very Fond of the Ponies
2006-09-23 - Announcement!
2006-09-17 - Clearly This Is Not My True Medium
2006-08-31 - Alternately, Do They Need Someone to Tuck a Cud in Their Cheeks?
2006-08-26 - Bet You Didn't Know Where This Was Going
2006-08-16 - I Don't Know What You Come Here Looking For, But Here It Is
2006-08-11 - Warp-Lensed Shit Filter Redux
2006-07-31 - My Apologies to His Slandered Duodenum
2006-07-23 - You Won't Believe Me When I Tell You It's Verbatim, But It Is, And You Can Suck It
2006-07-15 - Or, to Embroider on a Favorite Theme: Whisk a Sticky Egg-White into My Clam Broth
2006-07-05 - And They Say This Isn't a Real Poetry Blog
2006-06-24 - I Tell You, These God+Cock Jokes Never Get Old
2006-06-17 - You Give Me a National Anthem
2006-06-14 - It Looks Kind of Awesome, Actually
2006-06-11 - Postscript
2006-06-09 - In Which I Revisit a Beloved Theme
2006-06-05 - Or Mederma When I'm Feeling Rich
2006-06-01 - w00t MELANCHOLY ENDING!
2006-05-27 - I Am Maybe a Little Drunk, Okay
2006-05-22 - Also Spit-Sucking Dental Hygienists
2006-05-15 - Not to Mention It Opened My Eyes to the Werewolven Religion of Cujo
2006-05-07 - You Look Fantastic in Brain-Tanned Leather, Way to Go
2006-05-04 - I Tried
2006-04-30 - Wait, I Have One More--Giving Birth to a Little Hippo Underwater
2006-04-24 - Take That, Primate of Italy
2006-04-20 - Calling All Menstrual Painters
2006-04-15 - I Cannot Find My Vaginal Opening, Any Hints???
2006-04-13 - LOLOL CONCEPTUAL BLENDING!!!!!!!!1!!
2006-04-08 - This Cat Would Not Live Long Enough to Dance
2006-04-05 - In Which Much, If Not All, Is Explained
2006-04-03 - Preface
2006-03-24 - My Niece Was Four When She Felt Chinchilla
2006-03-20 - I Have Tons More of These
2006-03-17 - Send Money, Also Companion Animals
2006-03-12 - Fictional Mice and Rats
2006-03-10 - My Other Car IS Your Dad's Boner
2006-03-09 - Ooo, Prostitutes. Prostitutes' Laundry!
2006-03-06 - In Life, In Everything
2006-03-03 - P.S.
2006-03-01 - Blame the Dyslogia, Also the Fact that I Am an Asshole
2006-02-28 - Hey! When Did I Enlist My Talents in the Service of Evil?
2006-02-27 - Fuck You, with the HTML
2006-02-25 - Also Naked Santawomen
2006-02-22 - Also I Am So Poor
2006-02-20 - In Which We Travel Back in Time
2006-02-18 - I Return Wearing a Coat Made of Horses
2005-07-28 - Yes. I Owe the Entire Human Race an Apology.
2005-07-21 - I Might Also Invite That Giant Baby, And Maybe The Guy Who Eats All Those Hot Dogs.
2005-07-20 - Neither Is "Flotast".
2005-07-16 - Not Enough Poems About Urine In This World; Get On The Stick, Sharon Olds
2005-07-13 - Let Us Resume on Page 64.
2005-05-11 - A Baby Story--Minus the Vernix and Whatever.
2005-04-06 - ron mexico
2005-03-16 - The Stick
2005-02-02 - My Amazon Recommends "The Baroque Bohemian Cats' Tarot".
2005-01-26 - My Pee is Rainbow Like EVERYONE ELSE'S
2004-11-23 - In a Box, with a Fox
2004-11-08 - Not Cancer, By The Way.
2004-10-26 - I Commit Further Crimes Of Skilled Butchery Upon The English Language
2004-10-24 - Classy, and Also Yooge
2004-10-18 - Sic; Also, Asses
2004-09-28 - Sweetbread
2004-09-25 - Famewhore
2004-09-06 - Declaration
2004-08-23 - Slugs and Jaundice: My Anti-Drugs
2004-08-06 - Listen Up, You Racist, Poodle-Owning Baby-Stealers
2004-08-04 - Totally a Missed Opportunity on God's Part
2004-07-28 - Some Business Advice
2004-07-26 - Support the Troops, Fuck the Brass
2004-06-30 - Let This Be a Lesson to You All...
2004-05-19 - Married Life, or Whatever
2004-04-28 - Hello Again.
2004-01-23 - Dripping Heathens.
2003-12-07 - The Lunacy Is Unsurpassed.
2003-12-03 - The Cleave
2003-11-14 - Breastmilk and Conversation.
2003-11-08 - Tap My Phone, Harder...
2003-11-05 - In Which I Use The Best Acronym Ever Formulated.
2003-11-02 - It Has Returned In Plenitude.
2003-11-01 - Hoo, I Love It.
2003-11-01 - THOSE People? It's Not Like We Have Any Ethnicity To Speak Of.
2003-10-25 - What Now, Bertrand?
2003-10-20 - And the Lord Was Pleased to Crush Me in Infirmity...
2003-10-16 - What the General Manager of Payphones in Ghana Said.
2003-09-25 - Everything Should Be So Durable.
- Remember Eddie In Terminator 2? It's Worse, I Think. Substantially Worse.
2003-08-30 - A Little Suck In The Form Of Enrique Iglesias.
2003-08-28 - You Think You Know, But You Have No Idea: Diary Of Not-A-Finger.
2003-08-08 - Little Doggies, Nell, Little Doggies!
2003-08-01 - Pearls. I'm Giving You Pearls Here.
2003-07-29 - Chinese Food For My Craving Problem.
2003-07-19 - Community Life
2003-07-17 - I Could Have Been A Scientist, You Know That...
2003-07-09 - Thereby Confirming My Suspicions.
2003-06-28 - Extreme Whey
2003-06-11 - Stand Up And Represent, Indiana Motherfucker Prairie Dogs.
2003-06-07 - What Christopher Guest Sees In Her I Will Never Know.
2003-06-04 - What WHAT?
2003-06-02 - The Straight Fairy.
2003-05-22 - Concerning American Idol.
2003-05-19 - Regarding Not-A-Finger.
2003-05-18 - Or Some Skeksis. Even Skeksis Would Have Been Better Than This Guy.
2003-05-13 - We Are Not Suzanne's Set Dressing!
2003-05-11 - Sweet Nothings.
2003-05-10 - New Picture.
2003-05-06 - I Bet The Morgues Don't Treat Patricia Cornwell Like This.
2003-05-05 - Harold Bloom Might Have Given Her an A.....
2003-04-30 - The Birthday Party
2003-04-24 - Sweating Like Christopher Hitchens.
2003-01-11 - Sell Your Hair and Buy Me One.
2003-01-09 - Charles in Charge, of Our Days, and Our Nights...
2002-12-18 - The Entry In Which I Make Jesus Cry
2002-12-05 - Caw!
2002-11-21 - Not-A-Finger's Stabs At Holiness.
2002-11-10 - In Which Not-a-Finger Has the Ginger Momentarily Taken Out of Her
2002-11-08 - Or a Dead Dog.
2002-10-31 - And They Weren't the Good Kind of Dog Treats Either; They Were Not Flavored Nor Did They Contain Any Healthy and Delicious Cow Marrow
2002-10-16 - The Casual Catheter
2002-10-11 - Don't Leak This To The Press
2002-10-09 - The Rise and Fall of the Hot Pocket
2002-10-04 - We've Got Fucking Armadilloes in Our Trousers.
2002-10-02 - Cunt-Projection Update, Much Clamored For
2002-09-28 - In Which Not-A-Finger Parodies An Esteemed Intellectual
2002-09-27 - Vote Traficant.
2002-09-04 - Tragedy.
2002-09-04 - Not-a-Finger...The Book.
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